There
is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
John 15:13 NLT
I messed up big time. And I know better.
When I am full of pride, consider myself a
good and decent Christian, willing to do anything for the people I love – my family
and my friends.
Yet, when I humble myself and accept the
Lord’s lessons, I see that I’m willing to do what’s convenient, what I can get
away with, what doesn’t take me to my wit’s end. Ouch. It’s a difficult and tearful lesson.
In my discernment, I can see clearly that
the Enemy was testing me. I just completed a Bible study that asked us to write
up a covenant with the Lord. Our task was to place it in an unsealed envelope
and give it to a trusted Christian friend to read. This friend was to return the
covenant to the envelope, then place upon it her seal.
A couple of days later, I shot off an email
to a beautiful, Christian friend of mine (a different one), asking her when she could meet me for
coffee. I suggested a day and time, I didn’t hear back until the morning of the
day, I made a plan to be there, but my entire morning became frantic with other commitments and I let time get
completely away from me. I felt rushed and frustrated and my last straw had
broken. I just didn’t see how I could get everything done. I canceled on her.
She texted me that she was annoyed. “I feel like I’ve set aside so many times for
you and you either cancel or forget. I’m a little annoyed right now. Sorry.”
Clearly, she didn’t understand my side of
things. She was exaggerating. I’ll let it go for now and talk to her later when
she isn’t upset.
Then I began to pray and He answered. “What was your part in this? Was she right? Were
you being a faithful and loving friend?” Oh, my gosh! I had forgotten a couple of coffee dates.
I had canceled on her a few other
times. Ouch! I hurt her heart. Now, mine hurts as well. Lord, please help me with this. How do I apologize, repent and never do
this again!
I had dinner that evening with the Christian
woman to whom I had given my envelope. She
came home from work frustrated because she had been trying to set up lunch
appointments for her bosses with marketing contacts. It seems they kept
canceling the lunch appointments. “How can you maintain any kind of
relationships when you don’t keep your commitments?” God drove home the message
loud and clear.
I sent off a letter of apology – a sincere
and transparent one this time – thanking her for the lesson she taught me about
commitment. I told her in words how much she means to me, but I know I have to
show her in my actions. I prayed she wouldn’t give up on me. And I will be at the next coffee date…if there
is one.
If I want this dear friend to stay my friend
– and if I want to abide in Jesus and have Him remain my Friend – then I’d
better keep my covenants, both great and small.
