My Guide

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you, God, and bless you for being a force and presence in my life. You are a miracle to me, Lord. You are my Portion, my Glorious Inheritance and the Only One I desire or will ever need. You smile upon me in so many ways, Lord, and I am so very thankful. I can feel You placing in my heart day by day a love for You that surpasses all others, Lord. You are my Hope, my Faith, my Love, my Heart. You are my Friend, my Father, my Husband. You are my Family. I adore You, and I put no one before You.

You take my worries and turn them into lessons and blessings. You take my sins and convict me and forgive me. You take my heart and enlarge it. You give me peace and love and joy and patience and promises and faithfulness beyond measure. You provide food and shelter and plans and wealth in the form of a fullness of heart that cannot be explained or fully understood. You commit to a treasure in Heaven even beyond what You provide on Earth. I am in awe of the extent of Your generosity.

Lord, when I am still and quiet enough to hear Your voice, Your encouragement and wisdom reassure me. Your gentle hand reaches down to guide me, and Your face seeks mine as I seek yours.

Your warmth and loving advice is always available, just as it was for Tamar and for Rahab and later, for Priscilla. Lord, I confess and repent that I have not always taken Your advice, and know that You forgive me and see my heart.

I thank You for continuing to love me through my foolishness, for continuing to help me place one foot in front of the other back to Your path from my own, helping me every day to hear Your voice over the din of deceivers, and holding my hand while You lift me around or over the stumbling blocks, increasing exponentially my trust in You.

All I ask, Father God, is that You continue to place in my heart a growing love for You like no other, a desire to embody the fruit of the Spirit in thought, word and action, and a yearning to glorify You in everything I do and say.

Thank you for directing my path today, Lord, and allowing me to serve You.

Your loving daughter, 

Susan

Ouch!

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13 NLT

I messed up big time. And I know better. 

When I am full of pride, consider myself a good and decent Christian, willing to do anything for the people I love – my family and my friends. 

Yet, when I humble myself and accept the Lord’s lessons, I see that I’m willing to do what’s convenient, what I can get away with, what doesn’t take me to my wit’s end. Ouch. It’s a difficult and tearful lesson.

In my discernment, I can see clearly that the Enemy was testing me. I just completed a Bible study that asked us to write up a covenant with the Lord. Our task was to place it in an unsealed envelope and give it to a trusted Christian friend to read. This friend was to return the covenant to the envelope, then place upon it her seal.

A couple of days later, I shot off an email to a beautiful, Christian friend of mine (a different one), asking her when she could meet me for coffee. I suggested a day and time, I didn’t hear back until the morning of the day, I made a plan to be there, but my entire morning became frantic with other commitments and I let time get completely away from me. I felt rushed and frustrated and my last straw had broken. I just didn’t see how I could get everything done. I canceled on her.

She texted me that she was annoyed. “I feel like I’ve set aside so many times for you and you either cancel or forget. I’m a little annoyed right now. Sorry.” 

Clearly, she didn’t understand my side of things. She was exaggerating. I’ll let it go for now and talk to her later when she isn’t upset.

Then I began to pray and He answered. “What was your part in this? Was she right? Were you being a faithful and loving friend?” Oh, my gosh! I had forgotten a couple of coffee dates. I had canceled on her a few other times. Ouch! I hurt her heart. Now, mine hurts as well. Lord, please help me with this. How do I apologize, repent and never do this again!

I had dinner that evening with the Christian woman to whom I had given my envelope.  She came home from work frustrated because she had been trying to set up lunch appointments for her bosses with marketing contacts. It seems they kept canceling the lunch appointments. “How can you maintain any kind of relationships when you don’t keep your commitments?” God drove home the message loud and clear.

I sent off a letter of apology – a sincere and transparent one this time – thanking her for the lesson she taught me about commitment. I told her in words how much she means to me, but I know I have to show her in my actions. I prayed she wouldn’t give up on me. And I will be at the next coffee date…if there is one.

If I want this dear friend to stay my friend – and if I want to abide in Jesus and have Him remain my Friend – then I’d better keep my covenants, both great and small.