A Thicker Coat of Stubborn

Do not be stubborn as in the past when you turned against God, when you tested God in the desert. Hebrews 3:8 NCV

How often has the Lord given you a way out? How often has He pointed you to scripture to show you the way? How many times has He shown you, through friends, pastors, songs, or other avenues, what you need to do to follow and, just like Jonah, you have fled in the opposite direction?

You have grown, what my eloquent, newfound, friend KK Jones calls, “a thicker coat of stubborn.”

All through the Bible, God warns us not to be stubborn. He tells us to change our ways and listen to Him. 

The Lord says, “Don’t harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah, as they did at Massah in the wilderness. Psalm 95:8 NLT

He said to me, “Son of man, I am sending you to the people of Israel. They are people from a nation that has rebelled against me. They and their ancestors have rebelled against me to this day.  I am sending you to these defiant and stubborn children. Tell them, ‘This is what the Almighty Lord says.’ Whether these rebellious people listen or not, they will realize that a prophet has been among them. Ezekiel 2:3-5 GW

Stephen continued speaking: "You stubborn people! You have not given your hearts to God, nor will you listen to him! You are always against what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you, just as your ancestors were.” Acts 7:51 NCV

That’s why the Spirit said, “If you hear God’s voice today, don’t be stubborn as in the past when you turned against God.” Hebrews 3:15 ERV (ref Psalm 95:7-8)

You’ve been hurt or rejected and refuse to let go of your anger; you want a certain job and won’t open to another path; you bear guilt and shame like a badge of honor and use it as an excuse to keep you from moving forward. You blame others for disappointment or lack, you fail to give grace or forgiveness, and you take offense at minor perceived insult. You become angry with God when He rewards others that in your judgment should be punished.

But we must also remember The Lord says, "My thoughts are not like your thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9 NCV

When we begin to judge God’s decisions, we are placing ourselves higher than the Lord. And do we really want to do that? 

I have learned over the years not to ask, “Why.” That is part of my trust in Him. When I had breast cancer in 2007, I asked Him to get me through it with grace and humor, and He did.

Take off that coat of stubborn. Ask Him to clothe you in grace, forgiveness and peace.

He will.

Ouch!

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13 NLT

I messed up big time. And I know better. 

When I am full of pride, consider myself a good and decent Christian, willing to do anything for the people I love – my family and my friends. 

Yet, when I humble myself and accept the Lord’s lessons, I see that I’m willing to do what’s convenient, what I can get away with, what doesn’t take me to my wit’s end. Ouch. It’s a difficult and tearful lesson.

In my discernment, I can see clearly that the Enemy was testing me. I just completed a Bible study that asked us to write up a covenant with the Lord. Our task was to place it in an unsealed envelope and give it to a trusted Christian friend to read. This friend was to return the covenant to the envelope, then place upon it her seal.

A couple of days later, I shot off an email to a beautiful, Christian friend of mine (a different one), asking her when she could meet me for coffee. I suggested a day and time, I didn’t hear back until the morning of the day, I made a plan to be there, but my entire morning became frantic with other commitments and I let time get completely away from me. I felt rushed and frustrated and my last straw had broken. I just didn’t see how I could get everything done. I canceled on her.

She texted me that she was annoyed. “I feel like I’ve set aside so many times for you and you either cancel or forget. I’m a little annoyed right now. Sorry.” 

Clearly, she didn’t understand my side of things. She was exaggerating. I’ll let it go for now and talk to her later when she isn’t upset.

Then I began to pray and He answered. “What was your part in this? Was she right? Were you being a faithful and loving friend?” Oh, my gosh! I had forgotten a couple of coffee dates. I had canceled on her a few other times. Ouch! I hurt her heart. Now, mine hurts as well. Lord, please help me with this. How do I apologize, repent and never do this again!

I had dinner that evening with the Christian woman to whom I had given my envelope.  She came home from work frustrated because she had been trying to set up lunch appointments for her bosses with marketing contacts. It seems they kept canceling the lunch appointments. “How can you maintain any kind of relationships when you don’t keep your commitments?” God drove home the message loud and clear.

I sent off a letter of apology – a sincere and transparent one this time – thanking her for the lesson she taught me about commitment. I told her in words how much she means to me, but I know I have to show her in my actions. I prayed she wouldn’t give up on me. And I will be at the next coffee date…if there is one.

If I want this dear friend to stay my friend – and if I want to abide in Jesus and have Him remain my Friend – then I’d better keep my covenants, both great and small.