Ouch!

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13 NLT

I messed up big time. And I know better. 

When I am full of pride, consider myself a good and decent Christian, willing to do anything for the people I love – my family and my friends. 

Yet, when I humble myself and accept the Lord’s lessons, I see that I’m willing to do what’s convenient, what I can get away with, what doesn’t take me to my wit’s end. Ouch. It’s a difficult and tearful lesson.

In my discernment, I can see clearly that the Enemy was testing me. I just completed a Bible study that asked us to write up a covenant with the Lord. Our task was to place it in an unsealed envelope and give it to a trusted Christian friend to read. This friend was to return the covenant to the envelope, then place upon it her seal.

A couple of days later, I shot off an email to a beautiful, Christian friend of mine (a different one), asking her when she could meet me for coffee. I suggested a day and time, I didn’t hear back until the morning of the day, I made a plan to be there, but my entire morning became frantic with other commitments and I let time get completely away from me. I felt rushed and frustrated and my last straw had broken. I just didn’t see how I could get everything done. I canceled on her.

She texted me that she was annoyed. “I feel like I’ve set aside so many times for you and you either cancel or forget. I’m a little annoyed right now. Sorry.” 

Clearly, she didn’t understand my side of things. She was exaggerating. I’ll let it go for now and talk to her later when she isn’t upset.

Then I began to pray and He answered. “What was your part in this? Was she right? Were you being a faithful and loving friend?” Oh, my gosh! I had forgotten a couple of coffee dates. I had canceled on her a few other times. Ouch! I hurt her heart. Now, mine hurts as well. Lord, please help me with this. How do I apologize, repent and never do this again!

I had dinner that evening with the Christian woman to whom I had given my envelope.  She came home from work frustrated because she had been trying to set up lunch appointments for her bosses with marketing contacts. It seems they kept canceling the lunch appointments. “How can you maintain any kind of relationships when you don’t keep your commitments?” God drove home the message loud and clear.

I sent off a letter of apology – a sincere and transparent one this time – thanking her for the lesson she taught me about commitment. I told her in words how much she means to me, but I know I have to show her in my actions. I prayed she wouldn’t give up on me. And I will be at the next coffee date…if there is one.

If I want this dear friend to stay my friend – and if I want to abide in Jesus and have Him remain my Friend – then I’d better keep my covenants, both great and small.

Song of Praise to the Lord

I will honor you not just with my lips

But will assign all that I am to worship

My Lord Jesus, my Savior. You reign.

Take control of my heart; please don’t restrain.

You made me what I am,

The vessel that holds your living water

You placed upon my head a crown of beauty

And you lovingly call me your daughter

I offer my soul, my strength, my mind;

To you, Jesus, I willingly bind.

A living sacrifice to you I will be.

Side by side we’ll walk to eternity.

You made me what I am,

The vessel that holds your living water

You placed upon my head a crown of beauty

And you lovingly call me your daughter

You have planted me from a tiny seed

And your word and laws I obey and heed.

I seek nothing more than to reflect your face.

I’m the oak you water with your grace.

You made me what I am,

The vessel that holds your living water

You placed upon my head a crown of beauty

And you lovingly call me your daughter

I offer my soul, my strength, my mind;

To you, Jesus, I willingly bind.

A living sacrifice to you I will be.

Side by side we’ll walk to eternity.

A living sacrifice to you I will be.

Side by side we’ll walk to eternity.

The Heart of a Disciple

I believe in God. I believe He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ to be crucified to save me. I believe that he rose from the dead three days later. I call myself a disciple because I work to learn his teaching and his ways. My heart belongs to Him who created me. 

I find an everlasting peace in knowing that when I pray, God hears my prayers and answers them. That I am not the center of the planet. That my purpose here is to glorify God in the way I behave, which was taught by His son Jesus. That if I stay true to Him by abiding in His word, I contribute to humanity one person at a time. That if I make a mistake, I can get back on track with His love, guidance and help – and yes, sometimes His correction. 

I have a guidebook to help me navigate through life. It’s called the Bible.

If I want to know how to treat others, it’s not all about me and my ideologies; it’s about loving and forgiving (Matthew 22:39; Matthew 6:12, 14; Matthew 18:21-22).

If I want to know how to parent, it’s about respecting my children, but giving them appropriate boundaries (Deuteronomy 6:6-7; Proverbs 19:18; Proverbs 22:6 Colossians 3:21; Hebrews 12:11; Ephesians 6:4).

If I want to know how to run a company, it’s not about corporate greed; it’s about ensuring the world becomes a better place in which to live (Deuteronomy 14:28-29; 24:19-21; 26:12-13).

If I want to be consistent about abortion and the death penalty, it’s there, too (Exodus 23:7; Exodus 20:13).

Democrat, Republican, Tea Party, Green Party or Independent, I’m told to pray for my leaders. (Titus 2:1-2; 1 Peter 2:13-17; 1 Timothy 2:1-2).

Do I accomplish that all the time? Of course not. I’m only human. God is the Perfect One. But I continue to strive to honor Him, to live my life according to His wishes, and have my Father say when my life here on earth is complete, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

What We Cannot See

We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:18 

God fills my senses in nature. In delicate, pastel, pastoral sunrises and blazing, crimson, violet sunsets. When I spy a blue heron staring serenely in the distance, unconcerned over my slow, silent smile as I stare in joyful delight. A field of orange, gray, black and white painted ladies fluttering like autumn leaves. White and pink cherry blossoms, newly decorating previously unadorned branches, wet with morning dew. 

Mourning doves offering a morning greeting more delightful than café au lait. Beckoning me to wake and play and begin my day.  The call of the blue jay, restless and angry that that some other feathered friend threatens to take his territory in the universe of birdland. Barking dogs and running streams; thunder and rain pelting my window pain. 

The fresh smell of day after new rain; cold wind against my chapped skin; rain dripping down my back; snow on the tip of my tongue and eyelashes; the feel of the heat of the sun down to my core after a long, cold month of shivering inside layers of long-sleeve cotton shirts under woolen turtleneck sweaters. 

Having absolute faith that God abides in me, loves me without condition, follows behind me ensuring that I stay on His path, faithfully provides for me when I ask and even when I don’t, protects me, gives me wisdom, and above all, forgives me when I am human. That is to say, when I sin, which I do on a daily basis, when I come to Him and tell Him, and repent and ask Him to take me under His wing again, He always does. I am His cygnet, His lamb, His disciple, His child, His clay. I am His, and even though I cannot see Him, there is no doubt in my mind that He is there.

The Great Painter

Acts 4:24 When the believers heard this, they prayed to God together, "Lord, you are the One who made the sky, the earth, the sea, and everything in them.

Pearl blue, crimson, violet, blood orange, shimmering like a mirror behind an ebony silhouette of a palm tree standing starkly and singularly in contrast to the vibrant colors of the night sky. 

This evening I watch in wonder as the Lord swipes His brush across my window. With each blink of my eye the palette changes and I seek to stop time, to capture every glorious image before the intensity fades away and I lose the incandescence to total darkness.

Yet, He is faithful, and just as I know there will be a tomorrow and a sunrise, I am certain He will provide another masterpiece. And as I await the glory of a new day, I peek out at the dark, hardly disappointed, a smile slides over my face, because He has provided a wink here and wink there and has named each one as they linger and gather their friends just outside my window to stay with me until I fall asleep. 

Thank you Great God, my Protector, My Jesus, My Savior. My heart is full tonight.

  

This Year's Christmas

(To the tune of  "My Favorite Things")

Raindrops or snowflakes, the sales twist and tease

This season is Christ’s but the world disagrees

Shopping and glitter and merchandising

When do we stop and give praise to the King?

He didn’t want all this fuss and this clatter

Let’s all remember the real things that matter

Gentleness, kindness and God up above,

Self-control, patience, and most of all love

When you’re angry

When you’re rude and

When you turn away

The Spirit can’t give to the back of your hand

Surrender; let Him hold sway

Prisms of light shine in every direction

Warmly reminding of God’s great affection

Jesus gave His all so that we could be free

Thank Him this year and get down on your knees!

---------

Putting God first and loving your neighbor

Extend and acknowledge instead of ignore

Encourage creation, uplift and give wings

These would be Jesus’ favorite things

When you’re angry

When you’re rude and

When you turn away

The Spirit can’t give to the back of your hand

Surrender; let Him hold sway

God the Father (2x)

Holy Spirit

Jesus Christ our Lord

We ask forgiveness, to you we submit

For You are our Great Reward!